{DATE UNKNOWN - Within the last week} A weighted blanket of something fell over me unexpectedly @ the church. Compass seems well calibrated. One can only "feel bad" if the compass is working properly, I suppose. So seek to deeply alleviate it, perhaps. No short term delays... I know there is a God in here somewhere. I feel that I can see but the depth of my knowledge is so shallow. True, there are pointers but I'm now hindered by my lack of rigor. Similar in the case of chess. I can only get so far operating on pure instinct and unrefined talent. I believe its possible that I have maxed out most of my innate capacities, and now to blossom they require food/rigor, depth, beauty... This is true. Oversimplified perhaps. But take note now, of this feeling, in this place of worship. That this moment is true peace because you *are* here. Contrast it with the faux peace you feel when simply kicking the can down the road. It is different and you are energized. To think I almost didn't come inside... Who knows what might change if I were to compound these decisions. I hope I get the chance to find out. And so it goes! *Thank you* ![[IMG_2138.jpg]]